When Lynette Donnellan received a phone call from a police officer explaining that her son was involved in a car crash, her world changed.
“The policeman just said that Eli had a crash on Cherry Gardens Road ... and I couldn’t recall what he said or what he told us to do,” she said.
Mrs Donnellan said she and her husband immediately drove to the scene about 10 minutes from their home.
“When we pulled up with all the lights and everything up there, that gave us our first indication that this was not a small crash … it was mangled.”
Now a Mt Barker resident, Eli Murn, then 24 years old, had been speeding through the Hills “showing off” to a girl and his mates when he lost control of the car and slammed it into two trees.
The impact left him with an acquired brain injury (ABI) and, while his passenger was mostly unharmed, Mr Murn would never be the same again.
“It’s a strange thing to remember,” Mrs Donnellan said. “I just kept thinking ‘no, no, don’t (panic) ... wait and see what’s going on first, try to be calm’.”
She was told by the police that her son had been taken to Flinders Medical Centre in a critical condition.
At the hospital, doctors told Mr Murn’s parents their son might not make it.
“We got led to the side room, which is never a good sign, and the doctor came in and started to go through the list of injuries and the major injury, being an ABI,” Mrs Donnellan said.
“My husband just said, ‘is his life at risk?’ and (the doctor) said ‘yes, at this point, we give him about a 5% chance of survival’.”
Sitting by her unconscious son all night, Mrs Donnellan said the hospital staff told her she needed to go home and get some rest.
“I thought I’d have a shower, get changed, get dressed, get tidied up and go back up there but it sort of immobilises you and I remember lying in bed thinking, ‘why aren’t I at the hospital? My son’s up there so why am I not there?’,” she said.
“And I still don’t know why it was that I couldn’t actually physically get out of bed.”
That morning, Mr Murn’s aunt, Kaye Murn, was asked to communicate the news to the broader family.
She said having a task to do helped her process what had happened, but communicating the news broke her.
“I had to say ‘Eli’s crashed the car, he’s in intensive care and his life is in the balance and we just have to wait and see what happens’,” Ms Murn said.
After 10 days, Mr Murn had opened his eyes, but his recovery had only just begun, and after two months in hospital he spent the next seven months at the Hampstead Rehabilitation Centre.
Eventually, he was discharged and transitioned to living at his parents’ house, which had to be refitted to support him.
His aunt became his occupational therapist and travelled to see him for more than three years to help his progress.
Mrs Donnellan said that period wasn’t easy and that she and Eli, who was used to his independence, “butted heads” quite a bit. “Eli lived with us for seven years and that’s when we decided that it would be more normal for him to be in his own place,” she said.
“So at that point, we talked to Housing Trust and got him a little unit just off Marion Road ... which worked well because I went past (his) street on my way to work every morning and every night, so I could call in.”
Mr Murn has since learned how to drive a car again, re-obtained his licence using a modified car and moved into a home at Mt Barker, and today he travels around Australia telling his story.
He is a strong advocate for road safety, and wants people to know how quickly a stupid decision can change your life.
It’s a message that is also close to Mrs Donnellan’s heart.
“What happened to Eli has affected us all and it’s been 19 years,” Mrs Donnellan said.
“It’s all still there, everything’s still in my head ... it never quite leaves you.”
